I signed out of Facebook on my iPhone. I have to say, things have been a bunch quieter.

Did I mention that I have a new iPhone? It’s company provided, so it’s free while I’m employed, which is nice. It’s interesting watching it correct things (to the wrong words) or not correct things. Also, it’s fun dealing with intermittent slowness of updates, thanks to cell phone technology and availability.

I’ll catch up on photos later.

It takes awhile, sometimes, to find strength, like it’s a lost thing in your handbag or in your luggage (if you’re a guy). Sometimes, it takes a bit of time to find perspective.

Sometimes, high blood pressure pills are needed.

In any event, life is interesting, isn’t it? I guess most of my life has been moving along on an even keel, but likely, the more horrid things have just become less horrid over time, or have faded into “that wasn’t really as important as it seemed at the time” oblivion. I thought life would be easier as it went along… lessons learned, and all that, but notsomuch. Mid-life seems to be about how to figure out how to deal with what life throws you, and realizing that no matter what, you can find a way to get through it.

I am blessed, really, and lucky, to have the friends and family that I have, who are such a joy to have in my life.

This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

To me, among other things, this means, “Enjoy this day. It’s only here once.”

It was *how* she said it that turned the light on. The relief it brought lasted all afternoon; the feeling of “You know? You’re absolutely right. I have my husband (and daughter) and you’re exactly right.”

It only took me 15 tissues to get there.

And someone important said, “This is crap and you shouldn’t have to do it.” Let’s figure a better way out (I know I’m being vague, but imagine yourself in a helpless situation, and that’s what I’m talking about).

Every day for the last week, I said prayers and people were saying prayers for us (please don’t stop), and things came together enough for us and started making a little sense before we went insane, or decided to live on wine alone, or take up smoking, and I have to say: That’s a good thing.

My prayer had to do with helping someone to figure a different way out of something difficult so that they could stop coming after me about it. It was a good prayer, I think.. one that was focused on helping more than just me.

The fat lady has not sung, but at least we have a bit of peace for now.

Life is weird and full of unanticipated obstacles. I would be perfectly happy floating evenly through life, with just a minor bump here and there, you know, where you just have to worry about whether you’ve got clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow.

Is that too much to ask?

How do you get through major obstacles in life? My methods: Try to keep busy, and pray a lot. Keep talking to your friends and family. Develop a mantra… mine are, “I can do this!” and “It’s going to be alright”. Sometimes, “Don’t let the b*stards get you down.” is helpful, too.

So a man walk up to me an ‘im say
That do fearing that he die today
And never had done a good ting in his life
He will give me all the money him has
In his wallet
And it would be a blessing to him
For me to take it
And for me to eat well with it
Or to drink a hot coffee on dis a cold day.
Then he look at me with a serious look
On him face and him say
that I not to use it to buy drugs
Or to buy drink to get me drunk
For a shame meself and by that
Shame him too.
And he tell me that he have done
Nothing good deed in his life
And he has family that he never
Has spoken to in a long time
And that when they did last talk
It was all hot words with them high talk
To each other and it spin out of control
Until now none of dem talk and none of dem remember the subject
But nothing else but the high talk for more
Than five years with no slips.
Water pass under the bridge
Plus he no longer has a name for
Where they all live or even if they live.
And he say to me this happen over nothing
But stupidity and big pride of himself and one another
Of his others.
And then he looks at me all sad and says
For his god to bless me and he hope I keep warm.
I say to im I never have the want of drugs and I don’t
Do getting drunk because I sit here and wait
All my time
For enough to eat and nothing more.
So then he makes this kind of unhappy face and says
Sure he believes me and just goes off
Like a smell chase him away quick.
And I look and he has put to me $10
In my hand
Which I think is a poor likkle amount to carry out
If you think you are thinking you might die
Without a good deed to your name
When the time is up.

I remember going to England.  A few days before, it became absolutely impossible to think about anything.   It was good I started my packing a couple of weeks in advance, really, or I’d just be taking my handbag.   The thing about good stress, though, is that you know something really good is at the end of the stressful part.   The opposite is true when you’re in a not-so-good situation and you’re just not sure what the end result will be.

I find the only way to get out of ruminating on something is to do something else that requires thought, to take my mind off it.   Of course, the whole trick to this is pushing yourself to do anything at all, instead of sit around and worry.

I have tried to think of people who must be going through worse situations.  The problem is that I can’t do anything to help those people either.   So a feeling of helplessness still goes on.

What do you do to take your mind off overly stressful situations?

I had another helpful discussion with my husband last night before trying to go to sleep.  His undying support and understanding is amazing.  This is definitely what marriage should be like.

Afterward, I had a difficult time, still, getting to sleep, so I thought about my grandparents being there with me.   My grandparents lived in Illinois while I lived in Nebraska.   Every year, we went to Illinois to see them (it was a 10 hour drive) and it was wonderful to be able to see them.    Being able to feel they are with me sometimes helps a lot.

When I have a hard time going to sleep, I envision their house, too… walking in and noticing each room in detail.   Green shag carpet… white curtains, where my grandpa’s rocking chair was, and where the butterscotch candy dish sat by the couch.. Everything about it.

It’s my brain comfort food.